Hey Tom - Answering your questions from a Male perspective!!

Due to popular demand, we are including Tom's complete listing of Tom Foolery - when the page gets too full, I'll archive them like the questions.

FlyLady's WebDude Lee Here -

Here is our latest project! We put in a sump basin and automatic sump pump in Tom's workshop.

Jackhammering the concrete...

All chipped up...

Concrete gone - time to dig clay...

Checking the depth for the sump basin...

Tom on the shovel...

Sump basin in place and gravel in the space between the sides...

We also repaired a crack in the basement floor...

Concrete is done...

Pump and drain hose in sump basin...

Completed!

Once a year I like to do a major project to prove to myself and others that we got skills. LOL

This year we decided to gut and remodel Kelly's bathroom for her Birthday. Check out this link to see our project.

Tom

I can't tell you how many times I hear people talk about their bosses like they don't deserve the position. It is usually followed by, "If it wasn't for me, this place wouldn't be able to run." I usually reply with something like, "Hey, let me know when you are leaving so I can sell my stock!"

I wonder how these people believe their boss got the job. Let me tell you, not too many bosses were born into the position. They either worked their way up, did some specialized training, or their daddy owns the company (the last one is very rare). If the last one did happen, chances are their father is harder on them than everyone else. I once was on my dad's baseball team; I still have nightmares! LOL!

I think one of the reasons for this is the different type of people involved. The person that gripes is usually very detail-oriented, while the boss is the "big picture" kind of person. While the detailed person lives in the here and now, tying up all the loose ends, chances are the boss is looking at the big picture, and the majority of his thinking has to do with the next quarter of the year.

I once was traveling (driving around) a vice president in charge of corporate real estate. While in the car, he got a call from someone regarding him taking the second-highest bid on a construction job. He basically blew the bean counter off the phone and said to me while smiling, "That man has no vision." Can you imagine how bad the Yankees would be if they only had players that offered their services at the lowest price? He said he would take a proven quality contractor at high, fair price versus an inferior contractor at a lower price. He also told me that he gave that company the contract because they didn't get the last two contracts. He said, "I need to keep at least three of these companies viable or the prices will skyrocket long-term." I am sure the bean counter thought this V.P. was an overspending moron. I thought they were both just doing their job. The bean counter was watching the here and now, and the V.P. was watching the big picture.

Think about this: If your boss is a moron, what does that make you? You are lower than he or she. Most likely, he isn't a moron at all. That is why he has you working for them covering their back. All the jobs are important and take a certain expertise. The boss knows this too bad many employees don't.

First of all, this is a generalization. We all know that when we generalize like this, there will be a few exceptions. Is your husband the exception? Well, of course he is! Then again, asking him if he likes your hair short is like asking him if your outfit makes your butt look big.

Why do men like women with long hair? There are several reasons. There are social and cultural expectations for women's beauty. There is also research that indicates that there is a biological reason for men to prefer long hair to short hair on women. Features that indicate "reproductive fitness" are features that are found attractive by men... hair is a major indicator.

In a study conducted in the research journal "Human Nature," researchers found that women that were originally rated by a test group as less attractive were rated far higher when shown with a longer hairstyle.

The thing I can't understand is why so many women are getting short haircuts. Is it that the salon likes the fact that you return more often? If so, this is similar to Jiffy Lube telling you that you have to change your oil every three months or 3,000 miles!

I have had ladies tell me that they get their hair cut because it is easier to take care of. Well, you know what would be easier? Just stop messing with make-up, eyelashes, eyebrows and lipstick, and go outside with a full head of hair. You would look better! Your hair would easily outweigh all those other things.

I am not saying that shorthaired women are unattractive. Some women are so beautiful that they look terrific despite the length of their hair. But, they would be even more attractive if their hair was longer.

It seems when women are approaching 30, these short hairstyles start happening. I believe this phenomenon is similar to when men start wearing black socks with shorts. But, at least that doesn't start happening before they are 60.

I have heard women with short haircuts ask women with longer hair, "Aren't you getting a little old for long hair?" What's that about?? This was also mentioned in the studies: Peer pressure to get short hair. Seems to me they are trying to level the playing fields.

I'll leave you with one last thought: No one ever wrote a song that went, "I Dream of Jeannie with the Corporate Haircut."

Once a year, we all load up the FlyTruck and move the FlyShop to the annual FlyLady FlyFest. This year, we went to St. Louis, Missouri. Lee drove the truck, and Jack and I followed. Unfortunately, the truck's maximum speed was 65 miles per hour. The trip was 628 miles, and it wound up taking approximately 12 hours.

Most of FlyLady's speaking events are in conjunction with some organization. We put on only one FlyFest per year. There is a tremendous amount of planning that takes place for this event to occur. I would like to take this time to thank Laura for taking care of all of us regarding the hotel rooms, meeting rooms, meals, and any and all fires that she was called upon to extinguish.

We had a great time at the FlyFest. It was the largest one we have ever had. We had over 1,000 FlyBabies come spend the day with us. It was nice meeting some of our HeyTom fans as well. Robert represented us well in the "Q & A." Kelly picked which questions were selected from the numerous questions submitted by the FlyBabies. One lady submitted a question that I was going to answer. When Kelly found out my answer (ahead of time), she wouldn't let me on stage! So, Robert and I had a plan. He was going to hand that question off to me. But, for some reason, Kelly never asked the question (she may have been on to us). The question was, "Why do guys prefer their ladies to have long hair even when we want our hair short?" I guess you will never know...LOL!

I promised you some pictures from the FlyFest, and I NEVER break a promise! Of course, I try not to make too many, either!

Tom at the FlyShop setup!

Robert answering questions!

Jack replenishing the water bottles!

Justin (left) and Lee (right) getting the registers ready for the Flybabies!

Do you have friends that are constantly in turmoil? The kind of friends I am talking about constantly do the wrong thing. These are things that everyone knows the answer to - except them. The rocks come to you with their weekly tale of woe, and you literally spend hours trying to give them counsel. Then they go out and do the exact thing that they knew they shouldn't. So the next day, you spend hours trying to console them because their actions blew up in their face.

Then the next week comes, and the cycle repeats itself. These are the friends I classify "Dumb as a Rock." You see, they knew what they were doing was wrong. They wouldn't have come to you otherwise. What they want is permission. And when you didn't give it to them, they proceeded anyway.

What you should ask yourself is why you have friends like this. Think about it. You have enough stress in your own life without taking on the burden of someone else's all the time, especially if the stress is self inflicted. By wasting your energy in a constant futile attempt to help this friend, you are hurting your family and possibly your health. You can't help someone that will not help themselves. This type of friend is exhausting. I think the rocks are made from kryptonite.

Do these kinds of friends make you feel better because next to them, you have it all put together? Does it make you feel good when they tell you how great you are?

If you are helping these people for the above reasons, the cause is not so noble, is it? You really aren't helping because you are a nice person; you are helping because you really do not feel good about yourself. And like a piece of chocolate, they temporarily make you feel better about yourself. Meanwhile, those that love you unconditionally are suffering through your emotional absence.

I was reading in the paper today an editorial giving kudos to Coke and Pepsi for volunteering to stop selling Coke and Pepsi in Schools.

Voluntarily strikes me funny. Coke and Pepsi were pressured by special interest groups under threat of legal actions. I guess voluntary has a new meaning since I was in school.
Now students will only be able to drink water, low fat milk, unsweetened juice, and diet sodas. Yuck, yuck and double yuck. I guess they aren't worried about those artificial sweeteners. Don't worry; I am sure it is on somebody's list. When I was in school, we were allowed to drink soda. This soda must have had a delayed reaction. I didn't gain wait until I turned thirty-five, became more sedentary and quit smoking. I'm sure if I just didn't drink those sodas in high school things would have been different.
I often wonder how these groups single out certain things that are essential to our wellbeing. I mean, someone must have a formula for how they can help the lowly masses with their undeniable superiority. Let's take cell phones for example. Amazingly, driver distraction leads to accidents. So let's ban the use of cell phones in cars. It doesn't matter there are many other things that distract us and cause more accidents then cell phones do. Cell phones must go. Why? Because THEY said so. I personally think french fries should be banned from cars. I know of three accidents caused by people dropping their french fries while driving. Hey, come to think of it, they were overweight. This is known as a twofer. I don't know one person that was in an accident due to using a cell phone. And everyone I know uses one in a car. How is that possible?
The truth is, this soda ban will accomplish absolutely nothing with the exception of taking a choice away from the students. Terrorists have more rights than kids these days. But don't fret, you know how resilient kids are. I'm sure they will just drink one more soda after school. There is something to be said about forbidden fruit.
Why are fifteen percent of kids overweight? It seems obvious to me. They have a poor diet and don't exercise. Today if you asked a kid how much fast food they eat, they probably couldn't count that high. When I was a kid, it was maybe once or twice a month we went to McDonalds. This was the highlight of existence. Today, it is no big deal at all. It has something to do with parents' disposable income and the fact that we are often too busy to cook a healthy meal.
But the biggest reason I believe is the lack of exercise. I think it was a big mistake to cut back on the required Phys. Ed in school. If it was still required, I am confident the kids would have burned off those soda calories and maybe part of the burger too. I am going to let you in on a secret, but don't tell anybody. This is between us. No matter what your diet plan is, if you burn more calories than you take in, you will lose weight. That is an indisputable fact.
It would also be helpful if parents made their kids go outside on nice days instead of playing video games. Watch out, I am sure someone is working on an exercise law.
The only thing that allows me to sleep at night is there are people out there that will take care of everything for us. After all, they know better than we do.

Even the Man wants to stick it to the Man. That is why that commercial is so popular.
Well I want to stick it to the Man, also. The Man I want to stick it to is the Oil Companies.
I watch the gas prices increase every time there is uncertainty in the world. Give me a break. How come the prices of DVD players do not go up when there is uncertainty in the world? I think it is because we wouldn't pay the higher price. I have a question: When isn't there uncertainty in the world? And how come when there is uncertainty in the world, the oil companies are certain to make record profits? I can hear those little creepy bean counters now singing "We're in the Money" every time the world reaches that uncertain state. There are studies out that predict that Americans will not change their driving habits until the price of gas reaches $5.00 a gallon. That's nice because that means there is room for more increases before the auto industry gets mad. You can bet we will see $4.00 a gallon in the not too distant future. There are plenty of reasons to conserve on gas; air pollution, foreign dependence on oil, acid rain etc. But I am offering you a more fun reason to conserve on gas. Let's just stick it to the Man. I don't really care how you do it, conserve on gas and give them less money then you would have otherwise. Then you can count your dollars with a smile on your face knowing you did it. You stuck it to the Man.

1. Do things really even out?
2. You should be just as quick with a compliment as you are with a complaint.
3. It is getting harder and harder to find a regular cup of coffee. Even McDonalds is selling out.
4. Starbucks = Ourbucks
5. Is it me, or is it now okay to let your child scream in public and pretend nothing is going on.
6. Never, ever rent a movie on a friend's advice.
7. If you aren't being heard, try listening for a while.
8. Cheaters records should be disallowed. ( BASEBALL)
9. The definition of an old man is someone older than me. This is what is known as a sliding scale.
10. Go Orioles.

I would like to start by saying that I believe if you smoke, you should quit. I smoked for over twenty years around 2 1/2 packs a day. I quit on April 15th 1996. My chances of getting lung cancer from smoking those cigarettes are under one percent.

I may be ranting here, but I am tired of all the disinformation that groups that feel we are stupid and need to be mislead or legislated into doing the right thing as they see it. The government and the medical profession, I feel, are guilty of this regarding smoking dangers.

From the information out there, you would think that if you smoke, you get cancer. Is that true? Not necessarily. If a man smoked two packs a day for fifty years and is sixty-eight years of age, he has a fifteen percent chance of getting lung cancer. So, if you smoke for fifty years and don't quit, you have around a 1 in 7 chance of getting cancer? Truthfully, I don't know, since they are so bad with statistics I am sure they don't know for sure.

What do I mean, bad with statistics? I will give you an example. While doing my research, I have found it to be the universal truth that of all lung cancer patients, ninety percent of them got the cancer by smoking. They came to this conclusion because ninety percent of lung cancer patients smoke. In digging deeper, they say that the other ten percent are caused by radon, smog, asbestos etc. I say to you that could be the stupidest thing I have ever read. It is a statistical impossibility that none of the patients that smoke could have contracted cancer from another source such as the ones mentioned for the non-smokers. I guess smokers are immune to radon. I think the truth is there is a high percentage that is caused by smoking, but we just don't know how high. But hey, the ninety percent sure sounds good for the agenda.

So you may ask what the point of this rant is. The point is, just give us the real facts and we'll take it from there. We may be smarter than you think.

1. Why is common sense so uncommon?
2. If you always take the easy way out, I can easily predict you will never reach your potential.
3. If you expect a Christmas bonus, is it really a bonus?
4. All the recent studies say that two cups of coffee a day is beneficial to your health due to the amount of anti-oxidants. That kind of takes all of the fun out of it, doesn't it?
5. I hear you burn more calories sleeping versus watching television. Well, they never saw me watchinig football.
6. If you expect something in return for a favor, it is no favor at all.
7. I am grateful when nobody tells me I should be.
8. I hate shopping. If it wasn't for the internet, I wouldn't shop at all.
9. If the weather man went on strike, I bet the replacements could do just as well.
10. I was going to write thank you notes today for the cookies we received, but I didn't want to buy a pack of ten and only use one.

1. To the lady that wants me to fire myself, I can't; I kind of like that guy.
2. A sense of humor is like money -- some people just don't have any.
3. I love Christmas
4. Most guys do not like hovering salespeople. Look, if we won't ask for directions, what makes you think we will talk to you?
5. So, you want to have your gift from your man be a surprise. Be careful what you wish for.
6. You should never enter anyone's three feet safety zone while having a conversation. Unless invited.
7. To those in retail working those long hours, I feel your pain.
8. If everybody agreed with everything I said, it would just prove what I said didn't matter.
9. Do kids still hate snowplows?
10. Hey Kelly, "I Feel the Love"

1. I guess you can tell I am starting to feel better; I am getting ornery.
2. Men love cookies.
3. I love to get cookies by mail.
4. Yes, I share
5. It is a little known fact that FlyLady lets me pick where the FlyFests are. Did I mention I like cookies?
6. XM radio rocks
7. When I do my daily walk on the treadmill, I feel like a hamster on his wheel.
8. It seems to make Americans happy to kick people when they are down. So cheer up, Martha Stewart gave us a twofer.
9. Scientists are working on a pill that could make straight hair curly. Why?
10. Why is the men's department usually on the first floor right by the door?

1. Sometimes it is satisfying sitting in silence, not knowing what somebody is thinking.
2. I think, therefore I worry.
3. Someone once told me I was a great friend, but I was a worse enemy.
4. In order to be smart, you have to allow for the possibility that you don't know everything.
5. I prefer to think of my few grey hairs as extra blonde
6. Try to give your kids everything they need, not everything they want.
7. I find it amusing that women spend so much time trying to look good before going out. Then, they get mad if their boyfriend or husband notices a pretty girl.
8. Low carb diet? No bread, no pasta, no potatoes... you might as well take me now, Lord.
9. Life is not fair, but you should try to be.
10. If it was easy, what would they need you for?

1. Why don't the critics read my entire answer before they write to tell me I am wrong?
2. Sometimes I say controversial things just for fun.
3. I have eleven friends, just not at the same time.
4. Going to the doctor is fine. For other people.
5. Hey ABC, stop trying to brainwash me with your political agenda during your programming. (Boston Legal)
6. How are the states going to cope financially if everyone stops smoking?
7. You can teach someone to act like a leader but not to actually be one.
8. Self confidence comes from within.
9. Did you know a lady invented the dish washer? And I don't mean the manual kind.
10. I have noticed that not many women ask me questions when their husbands are home. Am I a secret?

Many of you write to ask why men do not like to go to doctors. Well, let me tell you my tale of woe. Two weeks ago, I noticed I was having trouble breathing. I could breathe, but it just felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen.

I gave it three days to go away. This is my infamous test to see if my body was going to heal itself. A doctor once told me he gets credit for a lot of things that really take care of them self. So, I am not one to give credit where it isn't warranted.

Well anyway, it did not go away. So, I told my wife, and the next thing you know I had to tie myself to the chair not to go to the emergency room. The last thing I wanted to do was sit in the emergency room for three hours, especially after watching my daughter kept in the emergency room for so long in violent pain before her emergency surgery.

So, the next day I had a doctor appointment, and my wife took me. (Did I ever tell you I can't be trusted?) They checked my blood pressure; it was fine. Did an EKG; it came back fine, except there was this tiny little extra bump that was barely noticeable. The doctor showed me and decided that even though the EKG was normal, I should do a stress test. At this time, my wife volunteered me for a cholesterol test. So off I went and was stuck by an amateur who hit a dry well. The real nurse saw the agonized look on my face and came out and drew my blood. I didn't feel a thing when she did it. The first girl needs to work in Texas somewhere looking for oil. By the way, my cholesterol was in the acceptable range and no medication is needed.

So, the stress test was scheduled for right after the Baltimore Fly Fest. It was scheduled for 12:00, which in itself is irritating because that is lunch time, but I went anyway. We received a call from the office to verify the appointment, and we were told to arrive early. So, my wife picked me up from the Fly Shop (because I can't be trusted) and we went over early.

Now, even though I am known for my extreme patience, I will let you in on a secret. I do not suffer fools lightly. Well, needless to say, at 12:20, I was still sitting there. Now remember, we live in a very small town; there are only 7,000 full time residents in Brevard. So, my wife asked what was taking so long, and the receptionist called back and said he still had two more patients before me.

I left.

I don't want to be accused of ranting but.......
How did we go from having doctors doing house calls to doctors thinking it is OK to waste hours of our precious lives? Do doctors believe that they are entitled to this because they are better than us and have this special knowledge that we do not possess? The truth of the matter is, they just don't care.

You see, you do not need to be a rocket scientist to make a schedule. Here is how I would start. Well, let's see, how long does a stress test take? Let's say it takes twenty minutes. Then you have to add on the 2 minutes the doctor acts doctorly and actually talks to you. So, if it were me, I would schedule them every thirty minutes, just in case I was really interested in someone and deemed it okay to spend ten minutes with them.

I went to school with this guy that is now a surgeon. Let me tell you, he is not godlike, and as a matter of fact, I wouldn't hire him for the Fly Shop because he was always a goof. I have every confidence in the world that he has become a fine surgeon and his patients are three hours late for their operations.

I bet the President doesn't have to wait for hours to see the doctor. The reason for this is because he is deemed important. The doctors do not feel superior to the most powerful man on earth. But you and me, we do not receive this consideration because we are lowly regular patients.

Why is this okay? It is okay because we gave them the power to do it. We put up with it because they are doctors and we are not. Well guess what, I am not putting up with it. I have higher expectations for my hired help. This is what they are. You should have seen the look on the receptionists face when we asked for our co-pay check back. It was obvious that this isn't done often. This is exactly why they can do whatever they want. Leave us sitting in the waiting room till the buzzards are circling, waiting for us to die of starvation.

I say to you, you all are important, and do not put up with this intolerable attitude. Give them fifteen minutes and walk out. Let them know of your expectations. I once bought a car in ten minutes, including all the paperwork. It can be done. Your time is your time, and it is precious. This doctor can't give me my time back. I think I will send him a bill for my precious time. The only question is, how I possibly could put a dollar figure on it. It can't be replaced.

To make a long story short, I got a stress test today but not in the normal way. And this rant is my therapy.

1. Why aren't they called a feather unduster?
2. Guys aren't always jerks when you give them your phone number and they don't call. Sometimes it is the washing machine's fault.
3. I hate that there is a seat belt law. I always wore seat belts but it bothers me that they took my free choice away.
4. Why aren't speed limits set to a speed that a reasonable person would drive on any given road ? That way everybody wouldn't have to break the law every day.
5. Everybody start using your blinkers.
6. We all really enjoyed the FlyFest in Baltimore.
7. Justin's favorite Baseball team is ST. Louis so chances are ..........
8. Can you get a Coors Light in Busch Stadium?
9. Or can you get a Bud in Coors Field?
10. I would rather be taught by someone that actually performed the task before becoming a teacher or trainer.

1. If you really had 2 tickets to paradise do you think you would need to pack your bags to leave tonight.
2. If Bees are so busy why do they take the time to smell the roses.
3. They say only the good die young. MMMMmmmm I wonder why I am still here?
4. Well I am offended that you are offended.
5. It's official hell froze over. I went to the doctor.
6. The Orioles and Ravens should combine teams and call themselves the Buzzard Club.
7. The reason I didn't call this website Ask Tom was due to some dude named Tom Cruize.
8. I consider Coffee the nectar of life.
9. I can guarantee that if it were men that used pocketbooks, they wouldn't be able to sell some for over $100.00
10. FlyFest Here we come !!!!

1. If you have to say that you are intelligent, you're probably not.
2. Come on Ladies what does DH really mean.
3. One man's nag could be another man's princess
4. Every time I am injured and my wife threatens to make me go to the doctors I suddenly have Super Human Healing Powers.
5. There is nothing wrong with not knowing something. There is a problem however if you are too lazy to find out.
6. If your wife yells at you and you didn't listen did it really happen?
7. Love means never saying I told you so.
8. If men were just a little smarter we could rule the world.
9. If life was like TIVO would everyone fast forward to the week end?
10 . When your company's new mantra is "More With Less" I suggest you run out the door and never look back.

1. Sometimes it isn't nice to tell it like it is. In that situation you should tell them like they think it is.
2. One man's lie often causes another man's hope.
3. Thanks for not writing me regarding how bad the Ravens are. I guess I should have given a recipe for Grilled Turkey instead.
4. How come if I say I don't know, nobody believes me?
5. According to SportsDictionary.com GOLF was originally an acronym for Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden. Others dispute that but I think it is a cover up.
6. If everybody was the boss would anything get done?
7. Lists, we don't need no stinkin lists!
8. They should eliminate the blood test before marriage and give a libido test instead.
9. By definition everybody can't be above average.
10. I try to be nice but sometimes circumstances won't allow it.

1. The toilet seat issue is closed. No pun intended.
2. They say Justice is blind. OK, that explains it.
3. It's probably a good thing I hate fish. I wonder where they are pumping all that toxic water?
4. Recipes by demand only
5. It's hard being me.
6. Life is going with Plan B. Plan A is just a fantasy.
7. Since on average people are much larger, when are they going to raise the size of medium?
8. This site was named HeyTom in honor of my assistant Michele who sits at her desk and yells "Hey Tom" whenever she has a question.
9. I never have a bad hair day. At my age any day with hair is a good day.
10. Men and women would have less arguments if the word "But" was removed from the English language.

1. Are you ready for some football?
2. Ravens
3. Men will be throwing passes this weekend, Not at girls either.
4. Life is like a football, there are bad bounces.
5. Book Recommendation- Football for dummies. It is well written.
6. Football isn't a game it is a religion.
7. Hey Ladies help your husband yell at the television. It's Fun !!
8. Pregame= food, Half time= food, Post Game= Food.
9. Beverage of choice..........Beer
10. Food of Choice..............Nothing Low Fat,Low Carb.,Low Calorie, or light anything.

Overtime

11. Tom's World Famous Grilled Ribs

Ingredients: Pork Ribs as many as you want.
your favorite rib Rub. I use Emeril's
Your favorite BBQ sauce.

Generously coat your ribs on both sides with the rib rub. Then wrap them in Foil double layered. Place on grill direct heat medium. Cook for 60 minutes turning once. 30 Minutes each side Remove from foil and coat with BBQ sauce place back on grill and cook for 5 minutes on each side.

These will fall off the bone. Trust me.

1. I sometimes know what I should do but I can't want to do it.
2. What ever happened to people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones?
3. What would happen to Home Depot and Lowes stock if we went the whole year without a hurricane?
4. I wish some guy would write me complaining about his wife. PLEASE
5. Do they sell all season radials in Florida?
6. If any other product I owned worked as well as my computer I would throw it out. I can't ever remember having to reboot my refrigerator.
7. Our prayers go out to the Hurricane victims. If you are in a position to help, please do so.
8. People keep asking me how often we should be intimate. Ok you want the guy's perspective? Anytime, Any day, Anywhere. This is to be known as the triple A principle.
9. So how much do those cars that run on Vegetable oil cost anyway?
10. I have been asked if it bothers me if my wife beats me in bowling. Not as long as I can beat her in arm wrestling.

1. Why did I have to call it Tom's Ten Random Thoughts? I always get stuck at eight.
2. Some of the comments I receive cause me not to feel the love.
3. I try to give you the guy's perspective. If the ladies don't agree, that is the point, isn't it?
4. No email addresses no answer. Nuff said
5. Thanks for the prayers for our daughter Stephanie's operation.
6. You never have to look for trouble. It knows where you live.
7. If you have a chemical imbalance why doesn't the doctor just give you the chemical?
8. Of all the people on TV I have seen that reached 100 years old, not one of them mentioned jogging or working out as the reason.
9. I need a logo so you can't watch me age.
10. Why can't my wife keep our trees in the forest? They get in the way of my John Deere.

1. For those worrying about my punctuation, I am answering hundreds of emails with only 2 fingers. I bet you can't do that!!
2. Please excuse my English I am American.
3. I can't wait till my Logo is ready. I am really getting tired of seeing myself on the Web site.
4. People that say yes to everyone's request for help is saying no to their family.
5. It seems all men are totally happy with their wives. Not one has written to me with a complaint.
6. Most of the Ladies have professed to me that they do not want to nag. I wonder if the men would be surprised to hear that.
7. You should work to live, not live to work.
8. Do not ask questions you already know the answers to. It is easier to be in denial then to be mad all the time.
9. To men an old shirt is like an old friend. They are not always pretty to look at but hard to get rid of.
10. Why do wives ask us what to cook for dinner at 5:00 when we know that everything is still frozen in the freezer ?