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December 30, 2011
Hey, Tom and Crew,
This is for the lady asking about men's attitudes towards breast implants in women.
I'm speaking from the perspective of a woman who has large breasts, and has had since I was almost
9 years old. I went from a Fruit-of-the-Loom undershirt to a regular bra (not training) almost
overnight. It was like I'd been attacked by a bicycle pump in my sleep! And a lot of girls decided
they didn't like me, because they matured later but were envious.
Large breasts aren't always comfortable things to have:
- I can get very sore if I don't have a properly-fitted bra
- Boys and some men older enough to know better have made crude comments, if they did't try to
fondle me, which got downright scary
- On some very hot nights, lying on my back in bed, they felt heavy on my chest (I also have
breathing problems due to asthma).
- I was a teenager when Twiggy was all the rage and I had a miserable time finding clothing that
looked nice on me; the ruffles, bows, and flowers that helped compensate for less endowment made me
look worse and this was before online buying or malls, and I lived in a very small town with few
stores.
- My breast tissue is very dense, so mammograms don't always give an accurate picture of their
healthiness; several times I've gotten false readings and having them manipulated for those is very
uncomfortable for a long time afterwards.
My niece insisted on getting implants, twice. She was a very pretty, well-proportioned woman who
really didn't need them. And both times she had problems with leakage and breast cancer. Her
specialist told her that in his opinion, she was nuts to endanger herself so unnecessarily. I know
that that industry is more aware of such things now, but it IS a possibility.
I have another niece, who is about as flat chested as she can be. Her personality and attitude about
herself and life are so warm and secure that she is always welcomed wherever she is; people are drawn
to her inner joy. She is also one of the most attractive women I know.
I have often joked that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, next time I want to be 6 inches
taller, 40 lbs. lighter, with a smaller nose and bigger feet....We all have flaws and imperfections.
Probably no one but you really notices the size of your breasts, and I'm sorry that your own
experiences have caused you to think otherwise. Please don't torture yourself with thinking that
such a serious operation would magically change your life to the ideal! So often we think,
"Oh, if I only had this!" or "Once I have that/do that/go there, I'll really, finally be happy!"
It's a kind of perfectionism.
Remember when you were ten and wanted a particular toy? Do you even remember now what it was? And
did it fix everything when you got it? Did you want something special when you were 20? Did that
fix everything? Would this?
I also joke that one reason I married my DH was because he liked my legs! NO ONE else ever said they
did, so I didn't let him get away....8^)
Am I a beautiful woman? Not really. But I feel beautiful because I am loved and I am able to love.
That is my holiday wish for you!
--Barra in the 'Burgh
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